the weekly theme

The inaffectivity

The inaffectivity: it seems a way of saying and to define someone unsentimental sounds perhaps like an insult, a characteristic, or something modern supported by the creation (sometimes the maintenance too) of new relationships online (online only), instead it’s a real pathology, unfortunately not a rare one. A pathology often suffered, more or less significantly, by those who were victims, at an early age, of extremely traumatic events, such as the sudden deaths for different reasons of people they were affectively related to and were fundamental for their psycho-emotional development. It’s a wide and delicate subject that should be recognized and helped immediately at its first signs, but better not to think that the depression wasn’t considered an illness for ages.. The non-affective person should be at least identified in order to help both him and those who get close to him, because he can cause a big suffering especially in those people who unaware of the situation fall in love with him. Which are the main and more common characteristics? an insatiable irrational dedication to the business and to life narcissistic aspects; a highly reduced capacity to enjoy relations and life up to: a retreat from any occasion of love relationship because of the anguish of abandonment; an emotional turn somewhat inward and to the organization of a defensive emotional distance, because they tend not to believe to other people love declarations; likely to feel loss. In very complex cases, the unsentimental is not that inclined to any body contact such as a hug which he lives with embarrassment or discomfort. A psychotherapeutic path and/or a special encounter can determine a change, an openness and an improvement, but it’s just the beginning of a hard painful long walk that will bring to a psycho-emotional health, now compromised. Unfortunately, in general, the nonaffective person doesn’t live himself as ‘ill’, nor he thinks he needs a psychotherapist or any other expert for treatment, because often he is not aware of his real condition. He is not even of the damage he might cause to those who feel for him. If it’s an incapacity to get through this or rather a firm intention and partially conscious choice to keep his armour therefore a sentimental distance of this deeply wounded individual from whomever. But in cases of this kind it worths saying ‘let go and let God’: the request of help must come from them first. The movie I wanna mention here relates to inaffectivity, though the same is addressed against Alyosha – the twelve year-old son of a couple of unsentimental adults who want to start their lives over with other partners ‘simply’ by getting rid of him, the innocent fruit of their union, but he will run away. The film called LOVELESS and directed by Russian Andrey Zvyagintsev won a prize in the 2017 Cannes festival competition. Its thesis is: “without love there’s no life”, which is what a character says and what the director firmly believes. Besides, Zvyagintsev accuses the 2.0 Russian society ferocity that is easily expandable to a dehumanised West, from where some faux-bourgeois attitudes would come.

Trailer (Eng. sub.):